I first heard of the doctrine associated with the GRC and affiliates from a long time friend in Sydney when I was twenty three years old, it was early 1983 .At first of course I rejected this and went about my ways, I used marijuana on a regular basis and was going through a rough, self destructive patch and after hearing of this so called “word” I tried hallucinates which did not leave me in a good state of mind leaving me vulnerable to the likes of the GRC and it’s affiliates.
Due to being somewhat affected by the substances and being a person who’s physiology does not bear well with the intake of any substance that would cause a degradation of physical or mental health I fell into a state of mental illness and became very fearful of death, this caused me to think on this “word” that I had heard.
I first of all sought out this friend, I arranged to go to a meeting in MB’s house at Condell Park Sydney, I was at the time sharing a house in an outer western suburb with another friend who had some insight into Pentecostalism and he came as well.
we both sat through “the word” and at the end of this we agreed to be baptised, I was amazed at the harsh responses towards my friend, he mentioned to MB that he didn’t wear under wear and this brought about a very strange reaction from MB, instead of what one would expect, the offering of the necessary clothing (the clothing for baptisms was always in a kit, so what was the problem?) and an understanding that all people are different, MB’s reaction was one of disgust and his muttering and mumbling about how “we don’t care for your flesh” or words to that affect, he acted extremely offended that this man would mention this fact , and went on about it for some minutes.
Eventually we were baptised in this house and were settled down to “call on the lord” shouting hallelujahs into the pillows on the chairs of this house, I did not speak in tongues at that point.
At a later date, probably the midweek meeting which was held at Springwood in the blue mountains at that point, I once again was given a lift to have my time hearing the word and calling hallelujah at a pillow while two men touched me on the back, one spraying forth in English loudly how the lord should fill me with the holly spirit etc and the other speaking in tongues, once again I did not speak in tongues myself. however later on that night as we were about to be driven home bibles were offered to each of us, and at this stage I was somewhat “weirded out” by all this and used this offering as a point at which to take offence and accuse MB of attempting to bribe us, little did I know it was my so called “saved’ friend who had bought them for us. (someone who I still miss and has had a woeful time under Mick)
We were taken home and had little to do with these people for some time.
At a later date when I was living alone and somewhat feeling the need to find out if this “word” which was preached to me was true due to my mental state not being at it’s best I sought out MB and once again was involved in this ritual of shouting hallelujah at a pillow while being touched on the shoulder by two men, I was constantly being told to “Speak it out” and at that point felt extremely silly and wanted the whole thing to stop, I decided then and there to just make up some babble and go with it, this was just what was wanted, and something that dogged me for years to come after, I at my first “prayer and fast” was once again calling Hallelujah at a pillow feeling somewhat dirty as I felt I had sinned being a fraud, MB came to me and encouraged me to speak in the language god had given me, I then proceeded to cry and admit my folly of faking the babble, to which MB proceeded to inform me that my thoughts were those the devil had given me to take tmy “joy” away.
I was learning fast that what you said was just put aside with some routine saying such as that, I quickly learnt that silence on most accounts was the best and almost all things I may have said were treated contrarily, MB has this ability to offer the opposite opinion to anything one may say if he chooses to treat that particular person that way, I was one who seemed to need to be contradicted.
I also quickly learnt the punishment for doing anything no matter how minor that may be construed as wrong or of need of correction, the consequences were brisk and embarrassing, almost always the offender needed to be briskly made to feel small and stupid in front of the whole assembly, MB would yell his rebuke and stare directly at the offender those of us who were a bit naughty soon referred to MB as mad Mick, a name he acquired during his bike riding days MB was before being a “saint” an only child of a domineering mother and a former bikie, (a typical pre-requisit for becoming an “oversight” in a place like this) with long red hair and a beard etc etc, my friend who originally “witnessed” to myself was the type of person who learnt slowly, his quirky traits giving MB regular opportunity to attack him from the rostrum.
I was soon able to (as one does) put aside my thoughts of how I deliberately faked the “speaking in tongues” learning as so many do to ignore the truth that is always at the back of ones mind and go on blindly adhering to the ways and doctrines of the “saints” I learnt to phone mick when I felt someone was erring (though I stopped that early on), and to hide my own problems as I felt all to often they would be mentioned every time I was in MB’s presence (nothing was ever forgotten and often brought back up) and he would make me feel like I could never leave anything I went through behind, slowly more and more I felt condemned and unable to live up to the level expected of me, I felt I had to keep the fasard up, if one let their guard down MB would pounce and the consequences were worse than trying to deal with it oneself.
Having had little to no experience in the “world” with women, I soon developed a desire to approach a particular woman (Known as a sister) and hopefully date and marry etc, after ten months of attending this church, I, one day in a very nervous condition (I hated approaching MB at the best of times) approached MB and told him of my desire, he in his usual way brusquely told me how I had not reached the mandatory one year mark necessary to reach before one can be involved with a “sister” and only then if the “pastor” approves, and if he don’t, move on, to say the least he made me as usual feel rather badly and condemned for having feeling of any kind, the “sister” and I had talked previously and she was as keen on me as I were on her, we were both given a cruel brow beating for our sins and weren’t to talk to each other for another two months.
I should add here, that this “sister” and I would sometimes talk, mostly in the company of other “saints” at young peoples meeting and if MB was the chair of such a meeting we would quickly be put into place, briskly, loudly and so everyone present could hear and learn from our misdemeanour (felt more like we had committed as major sin) that single males do not converse with single females even if the conversation was bland and of no sin in anyway, remembering that we were adults, there was no problem with me talking to a married “sister” just this particular single one.
We did eventually start dating, we were very much in love after a short time, and we were often in trouble.
At the first camp while we were dating, at Ocean Grove, I had to work, something that gave the ministry an excuse to attack those poor souls that could not get that time of year off to attend camp, I could only get a few days in camp, so I caught a bus down to Melbourne and was picked up by my girlfriend and taken to camp. on our way to camp we dropped by a supermarket to buy goods, at one stage during this shopping expedition we stopped and being very much in love cuddled as we felt no one was watching, this quick cuddle was noticed by some other “saint”, reported to NH and upon our return to camp my girlfriend was grilled intensely by NH, she did complain to me of the severity of the grilling and was in tears during this intense treatment and still after as she explained it to me, she was accused of having “done the deed” (the wrong thing as they call it) and after her expression of innocence was treated as a liar and accused further, we both at this point considered leaving this so called church, but felt there was nothing outside for us and we stayed, upon return to Sydney MB who had been over seas came to me and was extremely harsh threatening to break us up making statements such as he did not want my girlfriend to end up like another “sister” who was single as her husband quickly decided to not “follow the lord” and they soon after split.
In August 85 (August presents me with many milestones I have found) we were married, on the day my wife to be was late, the celebrant was threatening to leave, this gave MB much to”minister” to me about, it seems I should have kept him further informed as to the arrangements, something I found out he needed more input into after the wedding (now honestly, he knew were doing this thing, how did he not know we would be hiring a celebrant.. he was unable to marry us) and as usual I sat there and said yes sir rather than have what seemed to be brutal “ministry” if you at all questioned his words or reasoning.
Three months into the marriage my wife felt a strong urge to have a baby, we talked and decided to go ahead, we were extremely committed to each other and it seemed only natural, sadly we forgot to clear this decision with MB, I still remember the feeling of inadequacy as he flew into us for not coming to him so he could dish out to us his form of family planning, two weeks short of our first anniversary my son was born, to my surprise we were accused of having conceived this child outside of wedlock, I at that point realised how reactionary this man was and how little thought he put into his statements before verbalising them, a 50 week pregnancy would have been a first I’m sure MB!!!!!!
The years following this are somewhat a blur, there are many many things I will ad to this over the next few months, needless to say my time in that place from then on was truly one of a struggle, trying my best to hide my true feelings for the sake of this woman I loved so much and my new family which was to grow a little more before long, the constant fear of being pulled aside by MB and being accused of this or that, hiding my feelings of self condemnation due to my inability to live up to the expectations, hearing from those that had become hateful of him and knew if they voiced their dislike of this man that voicing it within earshot of myself would not bring about a pastoral visit, his ability to poo poo other peoples pain or grief and to develop what we titled “Mini Micks” who would strut around telling this one or that one they were wrong dispelling advice in a staunch “Mick” fashion, the times between meetings where he seemed to always end up opposite me as we ate, all to often setting me up by leading me in conversation to a point where he could spurt forward loudly some statement to make me feel two inches tall as the whole “assembly” had no choice but to stop and listen as their attention would be unavoidably taken by his loud outburst, one time a young child spilt boiling water on his lap and Mick loudly proclaimed the child was just acting (phreaking ouch Mick you fool!!!) the list is long and the bitterness deep. I now seven years forward of being told to leave my family home felt I may have moved on and have lost the bitterness, sadness and associated grief from what transpired, but it is still a big part of my life today and probably always will be.
Watch this space
